Binary beings we humans are.
Forged and fused with perfectly opposing forces. Which makes loving another human Wholly, quite the business.
To love the dual nature of another human we must be dual in our abilities. That is, we need two sets of eyes ~ one set for seeing what is exposed and another to be the Visionary, two sets of ears ~ one to hear what's spoken and another for hearing rumbles from the underground, and two kinds of acceptance ~ the acceptance born of flesh and blood, and the numinous sustenance of the soul.
See, when relating to another, one part of our dual nature is the exterior disposition: what is expressed, conversed, agreed, asserted or aired in open amphitheatre. When we form any bond with another human this is the sustenance that creates a sense of shared delight and open esprit ~ like a wheel of mutual fortune that two humans could be so lucky to have found another brave enough to bare the covers of their soul and give an empathic peek under the sheets.
BUT there is another quite contrary nature, that needs an even tighter kind of holding and loving yet. This is the interior disposition ~ 3/4 buried in the unreconciled enclaves of the heart and 1/4 in the spongy membranes just beginning to be wrung out and fresh-pressed. This is the unspoken part perhaps resistance to expression lest one spooks or pushes or bristles the hide coat of a companion's back.
To understand another being fully we have to allow for both natures, ALL natures to be held; to give space for that which is spoken and equally that which springs to surface with a spontaneity so wildly different, it can be utterly confronting when it shows.
And often what we find is that even unexpected or conflicting messages too have been revealed in subtle side-shows off the main event.
So, rather than being only open to the openings, and put off or distracted by what was once suppressed, from this place of broad and brim acceptance, we can stay reorienting always back into this most important business of relating to and from the numinous sustenance and wholeness, from which this other human was created and back into which, it and us, and we, will all dissolve.